Order Up: Midnight Scuba Diving

Oh, where to start with this one from “Slow Nights. Fast Food.” … I guess just listen to it first and then I’ll break it down.

This song is a tribute to my all-time favorite activity in the bedroom, goin’ down, which makes my mouth water just typing about it. The back story is pretty funny, imo. Years ago (’05 or ’06 maybe?) a close friend of mine was over at some gal’s house. He called me over because they couldn’t figure out how to rip music files from a cd onto her computer. I went over there, poked around on the computer a bit and fixed the problem. Then before I left, me and my friend were just shooting the breeze in this gal’s bedroom (no this is not going where you think it’s going), and he started joking with her about the random junk in her room. He picked up a pair of underwater/snorkeling goggles and put them on and said, “Yeah I’ll probably need these later.” Right after he said that he started flicking his tongue just like Manny in Scarface. I laughed so hard I couldn’t breathe. At that moment I made “Scuba Diving” my go-to euphemism for going down on a woman and I knew I had to make a song about it.

I’m glad I didn’t choose to sit down and just force the song out back then, because I would have looked back on it today and realized I could’ve done better. That’s how I feel about most of my songs from years and years ago. I’m proud of all of them, but my delivery and production still needed growth. I actually had the beat and the hook for this song before I made my previous album “Perseverance” but I didn’t get the verses written.

I’m not known to be a crass rapper these days. When I first started rapping it was rare for me to go four words without cussing, but my writing and vocabulary eventually matured and now I tend to use it more for a specific impact or ear-perker than anything else (but don’t get it twisted, I love to cuss on a daily basis… a lot. lol). That’s one reason Midnight Scuba Diving is the song I had the most fun writing on this album. My goal was to not say anything that was directly offensive, all while talking about a subject people rarely discuss in public. The other fun part was having the scuba diving theme to play off of in the lyrics. That made for some entertaining one-liners, and the whale sounds throughout were just the cherry on top. I had the song finished, but I felt it was missing just a little something extra, so I thought “Hey, scuba diving and whale sounds go hand-in-hand, right?” Plus it’s a bit of an erotic/soothing sound. I also had originally asked a couple girls I know to sing on the hook, so that it wasn’t just my voice on the track, but they both got bashful and backed out on me. I had to re-write the breakdown at the 2:30 mark because I had written that for a woman to sing too. I wish it wasn’t me on that part, but I had no other choice in the end. I’m no r&b singer so I was trying to get someone sexier than me to appear on it.

My hope is that this song will be getting played in bedrooms all over the world while “divers” are in the water. I wanted to make this one slightly humorous, entirely real, and very sexy so that it fits in with your “gettin’ busy” playlists. There are lots of rappers that would turn away in disgust at the very thought of putting their face-below-waist, but I can’t imagine not doing it. Hope y’all l-l-l-like this one.


(Verse 1)
It’s time to splash down, I can see that look that’s on your face
That you want me to taste what’s right below you waist
You’re in luck cuz I’m certified, a perfect record in scuba dives
I don’t need a wet-suit this birthday-suit’ll do just fine
Lights off, legs open, I’ll be swimmin’ in between ’em
If you have some inhibitions my whole mission is to free ’em
I’m a rapper, which means I’m someone that’s real-l-l-l-l-l-l-ly good with my tongue

Don’t worry bout a thing, I know what you need, just leave it to me
Now I’m midnight scuba divin’
Don’t worry bout a thing, I know what you need, just leave it to me
Now I’m midnight scuba divin’
Now I’m midnight scuba divin’
Now I’m midnight scuba divin’

(Verse 2)
Now I’m way below the surface, I could stay here all night
Makin’ you feel all right, up and down as I slide
Goin’ slow when I start cuz there is no rush
And you really love my name but havin’ trouble tryin’ to Hussshhh
Gonna take you to the l-l-l-l-limit
Wait until you’re finished before I get in it
See there’s more fun in givin’ than will ever be in receivin’
And if seein’ is believin’ then you’ll watch it happen this evenin’, baby
Breathin’ deep I hit that oxygen supply
While those thighs spread wider where you l-l-l-l-lie
Hips dippin’, hands grippin’, now this room is really heatin’ up
Guess I’ll ride the current cuz these waves are really speedin’ up


As low as I can go, fast or slow, doin’ everything I can to make your ocean roll
I’m your scuba dive guy, guided by moonlight, and I’ll be goin’ at it ’til I come to the boat

(Verse 3)
I’m just tryin’ to leave a l-l-l-l-lasting impression
Let this be a lesson I can take away your stressin’
Oh I love to see you arch, I love to hear you moan
I will dive in at anytime you wanna rock the boat, uh
Call it “naughty” I prefer to call it my hobby
I’m that kind of scuba diver that’s tryin’ to cause a Tsunami
That’s when my job is finished, got these coordinates recorded
I know it’s midnight, but I’ll proly be back in the morning


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