Order Up: Texas A-V-E

Well I figured now is a good time to add this one to the “Order Up” posts. Here’s the song that served as the first music video from “Slow Nights. Fast Food.”

This song is called “Texas A-V-E” and if you’ve ever lived in Bryan/College Station, you know how important this road is. Ever since I was old enough to drive I’ve loved cruising Texas Avenue. Not because there are a bunch of hot spots popping off all the time, but because it’s one long, main drag between the twin cities. It makes for a simple drive and I always use it as an excuse to get out of the apartment when I’m going stir crazy, or just to clear my mind if needed. This song has a similar sound to “Welcome to the Presentation” only I’m shouting out streets this time instead of businesses. I’ve always loved making songs about the experience of living in B/CS and I’m so proud of how this one turned out. I was especially happy with how well the High School and College names came together in the third verse.

I had this track ready to put on “Perseverance,” but I did a fan-vote for track selection on that album and this one wasn’t picked. Huge thanks to G-Bird for driving while I got footage from the passenger window, and SHELLZ for filming me during my verses. I wish we had picked a less humid night to roll with the windows down! Editing this vid was a beast. I accidentally shot WAY too much footage and spent two days trying to condense the best stuff into 4 minutes. There are a ton of other signs/places I could’ve thrown in if there was room. This one is for my fellow 979ers! If you cruise Texas Avenue then I hope you’ll blast this from your speakers while you do it!


(Verse 1)
I’m on that avenue and I’m cruisin’ through
In an R-A-M, patriot blue
Been doin’ this here since you-know-who
Made graduation from drivin’ school
My windows downs, my lights are lit
From William J to Dominik
From Highway 6 to Harvey Mitch
If you recognize that you’re a part of this
I’m shinin’ paint, I’m Texas flippin’
I love that T but I don’t mean Lipton
I could pick you up at Holleman
And highly recommend you oughtta get in
We can make a U (turn) back to that
University, make a rendezvous
With the intersect where the plaza blew
But catch the green and stay on the move…

From the B to the CS and the CS back to the B
I’ll be on that Texas A-V-E
Til I’m ridin’ on E, ridin’ on E, ridin’ on E on that A-V-E
From the B to the CS and the CS back to the B
I’ll be on that Texas A-V-E
Til I’m ridin’ on E, ridin’ on E, ridin’ on E on that A-V-E

(Verse 2)
Now I’m a Bryan boy so I’ll slide away
Past Broadmoor and that Mary Lake
Spot Coulter and East 33
See the BPD and I check the gauge
I paved the way and I love the route
When the girls and the rides and the lights are out
Hear a scream and shout no matter north or south
Just burnin’ that gas like a powder now
Crossin’ Old Hearne and keep it rollin’
My A/C is nothin’ but the windows open
Until I see the Highway I’ll keep floatin’
And then spin around and repeat the motion
And head back toward the 21-Junction
CD on blast til the track can’t function
Somethin’ goin’ down in B-Town? I’m huntin’
If you ride the ave then get this bumpin’…


(Verse 3)
Whether you’re in College Station
Whether you reside in Bryan
Whether you’re an Aggie, a Cougar, a Tiger
Whether you’re a Buccaneer, Ranger, or Viking
I wanna see you on this avenue
Lookin’ like you wanna be there, not havin’ to
Otherwise I’m gonna be a little mad at you
Come out here and dip in it like a can of stew, uh
Screens lit and the speakers bumpin’
In the foreign, domestic, or next-to-nothin’
With the rims, or the hubs, or the caps, or somethin’
Doesn’t matter what you got if you got it jumpin’
I’ve been here for a couple of decades
And gonna be here for a couple of more
And everytime I hop in my ride
I’m gonna hit the avenue until the gas tank needs more…


Order Up: Be Nice

This song from “Slow Nights. Fast Food.” was inspired by one of my favorite movies of all time.

If you’ve ever seen the movie Road House then you recognize the line, but if not then watch this clip. It is the greatest B-Movie ever made. I’ve lost count of how many times me and G-Bird have watched it, but it has to be in the hundreds by now.

The goal of this song was to let you know that I have my breaking point just like anyone else. I don’t have the tough-guy build or personality, and confrontation is not in my nature at all. I’m very much the “don’t bother me and I won’t bother you” type of guy. However, I won’t let myself get walked over either, so if I get backed into a corner then I’m going to get myself out of it. Few have ever seen me completely go off the handle and to be honest I can’t remember if that’s ever happened. That’s why I say in the song, “wait’ll you see what that looks like,” because it’ll be a shocking sight for all of us. As a kid I never had the courage to step up and back someone down, but as an adult I have much less tolerance for assholes.

Kindness is often mistaken for weakness, but just because a threat isn’t posed doesn’t mean the threat isn’t present. Like Dalton said, “Never underestimate your opponent. Expect the unexpected.” We’ve all been in situations where we get angry or frustrated beyond normal levels, but most of the time we can be nice until the temps cool. This song basically serves as a warning for the other times…


(Verse 1)
You know that old sayin’, repeatin’ it’s pretty needless
But you better not mistake my fuckin’ kindness for weakness
Unless you’re dumber than Beavis see let me cut through the fat
If you keep pushin’ somebody, somebody’s gonna push back
The only difference is when, the shock is all in the how
You wanna set off a bomb? I’m shock-and-awin’ you now
It ain’t what I prefer, I’d rather stay on the level
But if I’m found in a corner I’m gettin’ out on my mettle
Yeah I’m quiet and calm, I keep my temper in check
If I don’t know anything about ya then I’ll give you respect
That’s because I’m a man, not on that childish shit
I’m not spendin’ my minutes in tryin’ to prove my grit, nah

I’m gonna be nice, until it’s time to not be nice
Not be nice, not be nice
I’m gonna be nice, until it’s time to not be nice
And wait’ll you see what that looks like
I’m gonna be nice, until it’s time to not be nice
Not be nice, not be nice
I’m gonna be nice, until it’s time to not be nice
And wait’ll you see what that looks like

(Verse 2)
I’m gettin’ sick of these idiots that’ll never relax
Forever flexin’ and pressin’ like it’s a wrestlin’ match
Man that could never be me, it never was in the past
Even though a lot of folks deserved to get their jawline cracked
I’ve left enough at my back with all this walkin’ away
So when it’s time to fire off it’ll be a second D-Day
I give a damn what he say, or she say, it won’t hurt
But if words turn to work you’ll be first to the dirt (uh)
So lets not take it to the point of demonstration
May not look like much, but the cover of this book is changin’
Now we all want company of someone keepin’ it cool, mayne
Ain’t it peculiar how I seem to do that very thing? (haha!)


Order Up: Hop In

This song from “Slow Nights. Fast Food.” was specifically made for hitting the road on a summer day.

For a couple years now I wanted to sample one of my favorite YouTube videos for a beat. I think I first saw this thing back in ’06 or ’07 when it was on Break.com, and honestly I love the song as much as the ridiculous subtitles that made it viral. I finally sat down with it while making this album and figured out how I wanted to use it. You’ll noticed the part I sampled is around the 1:36 mark and pops up a few more times.

Other than that I just wanted to make this a feel-good track, so I wrote it from the mindset of picking up a girl and cruisin’ an open Texas road to destinations unknown. Been a while since I’ve been able to do that for real, but I remember what it’s like. lol. It’s also about getting out of town to clear my mind. I love my city but I definitely have moments when I need a breather and some fresh scenery. You know what I mean? Sometimes you need to just hop in and get some place that you don’t even know…


Hop in and lets ride, baby, hop in and lets go
Hop in and lets get some place that we don’t even know
Hop in and lets ride, baby, hop in and lets go
Hop in and lets get some place that we don’t even know
Hop in and lets ride, baby, hop in and lets go
Hop in and lets get some place that we don’t even know
Hop in and lets ride, baby, hop in and lets go
Hop in and lets get some place that we don’t even know

(Verse 1)
I’ll grab my keys, lets hit the road // Put 20 o’s in that cup hold
I’m in the Ram, not gold bow // Get smooth on like Rolo
Move so slow, I’m milkin’ time, and watchin’ how you feel my rhymes
Get turned on by this skill of mine, I’ll turn this wheel like a million times
Just to keep our vibe goin’, this wind blowin’, that smile showin’
Gettin’ derailed like Clive Owen // get away from the place it was nice knowin’
Kick back, your feet on dash, just cuttin’ up and I make ya laugh
Gotta grip of cash, full tank of gas, and a pedal on the floor to mash


(Verse 2)
Got us jammin’ rap on country lanes // my mind is clearer than that window pane
I can’t complain bout a damn thing and you look sweeter than sugar cane
I could eat you up, that ain’t a bluff // you make life easy when it’s tough
Babygirl I can’t get enough // wish time would stop for the two of us
I like my truck but I love the rider // this console up I’m right beside her
Right arm around her might pull her tighter // sparks are flyin’ without strikin’ lighters
I see some faded sign for some town we’ll hit in nine
You wanna stop? That’s just fine. If not I’ll gladly keep flyin’


Order Up: Don’t Make Me Jerk This

Here’s the craziest song on “Slow Nights. Fast Food.”

I wrote this song to be one long innuendo. I had this great beat and I knew I couldn’t do anything ordinary to it. I decided I wanted to write something that would turn heads and get people wondering just what I was talking about. Even the title “Don’t Make Me Jerk This” makes you think right off the bat that I’m talking about Big Hush #2, right? I knew from the get-go I wanted to write a song about my 12-gauge shotgun. At the time, it was brand new and I love that thing. If you know my discography then you may remember I did the same thing right after getting my Glock 23. I love guns and being a gun owner, so I’m always excited to rap about my babies.

Originally I had written and recorded this entire track minus two key details: The shotgun pump sound at the beginning, and the word “pump” in the hook. Yeah, at the last second I decided to give it all away and let you know from the start that I’m talking about a shotgun. Otherwise all you would’ve had were the suggestive lyrics that make it pretty obvious by the end, but still left the song open for interpretation. This track is one big warning that if anything happens that requires me to use this shotgun on someone, then I’ll use the hell out of it. Hopefully that day will never come.

BTW my favorite moment is when I say “Where do you hide it?” It’s the most ridiculous half-Stallone sounding voice, and I had no idea it would come out that way. I just jumped up to the mic and had to create a voice on the fly, that was it. Makes me laugh every time. This song gets me hype and I love blasting it (pun intended) in my truck. I hope y’all get a kick out of it too.


Please don’t make me jerk this! Pump!
Please don’t make me jerk this! Pump!
Please don’t make me jerk this!
Cuz if I jerk this then I’ll work this til it’s worthless

Please don’t make me jerk this! Pump!
Please don’t make me jerk this! Pump!
Please don’t make me jerk this!
Cuz if I jerk this then I’ll work this til it’s worthless

(Verse 1)
It’s heavy and it’s long and ready to get it on
Gotta hold it with two hands until the load’s gone
Leavin’ everything laid with a splatterin’ blast
And I can pump-pump-pump-pump pump it real fast
But I don’t want to jerk it if I got another option
Or open this up like a flower that blossoms
If you come into my house and were not announced
Then don’t be lookin’ like you’re shocked when I’m whippin’ it out
Down South. Somethin’ like a pistol when I grip
You’ll be starin’ at the tip pointed outta my hip
See when a girl sees this she’ll be gettin’ excited
All the guys get jealous, ask “Where do you hide it?”
If I’m jerkin’ on it guaranteed I’ll go a few rounds
But if someone’s there in front of me they better go down
That’s the way it’s gotta be but please don’t get me pullin’ this
It’s gonna be hot when I stop “Who’s coolin’ it?!”
I’ll do it by myself if nobody else helps
And you know what they say, you don’t get used to the smell
A bell ringin’, loud singin’, tense turn of events
The kind of thing to have you leavin’ with a couple of vents
So c’mon, I’m beggin’ you, I mean I’m really, truly beggin’ you…


(Verse 2)
If I’ve gotta pull it out then I’ll be workin’ hard
Til it’s empty like a fat boy with a cookie jar
Far from what I wanted but not another choice
So somethin’ in the room is about to get moist
It’s only happenin’ at home only place that I’ll touch it
Cuz hey, I can’t handle this thing in public
Less I wanna get a problem from all the callin’ of cops
So my front door is proly where that oughtta be stopped
No block goin’ on if the action’s happenin’
And I gotta do the dirt, not an act of passion
Bein’ fast and rough or maybe huff and puff
The blood pressure and the heart beat firin’ up
You get enough of nothin’, I don’t do it, I’m hurtin’
Either I’ll be gettin’ blown or I’m doin’ the jerkin’
I can reach it in the bed do the one-hand tug
And let loose with a spread or deliver a slug
It ain’t love when it comes to the 12-gauge motion
Dry hand on it but it’s smooth as lotion
There’s a lot of y’all there wanna raise some cain
But I’ll let you know now, I don’t play that game
So c’mon, I’m beggin’ you, I mean I’m really, truly beggin’ you


Order Up: Overdrawn

I hope I don’t need to tell you this by now, but this song from “Slow Nights. Fast Food.” was inspired by true events. This one is dedicated to anyone that has ever run out of money before payday, or any day.

The inspiration: There was an occurrence a few months back when it seemed like every bill and expense I could possible have all came up in the two weeks between paychecks. I did everything I could to tread water, but I ended up running my bank account into the red not once, not twice, but THREE times. I’m no stranger at all to having my account get down in the teens by the time payday hits, but I usually manage to avoid the overdraft fees that come with actually dropping below the horizon. Not this time.

I put in my 40 hours each week just like you, and scrape by on my earnings as best I know how. Sometimes bills don’t line up the way you need them to, and expenses come out of left field at a full sprint. The day my bank numbers hit the negative for a third time, I wrote this song that night. I’m the type of guy that takes shitty situations with a sense of humor. What else can you do? If you can’t change what happened, bitching and moaning about it is only helpful for a few minutes. After you vent you just have to focus on the next move. That’s why I had the idea to make this tune pretty different from my usual tracks.

I had this beat I had made with the intent of it being some cool, hard hitting banger but I was only half way done with it. I barely had anything filling out the verse sections and was blank on ideas for it. I decided I could use this beat as-is, and sing the verses, which would give some melody where the instrumental was lacking. This created the humorous, playful sound I was wanting for the topic at hand. Remember, this delivery is meant to be funny, not a serious attempt for me to be a singer. Some songs take time to put together and others just write themselves. I wrote this song in just under 30 minutes. Of course it’s only one verse, so it would’ve been a quick write anyway. I think my familiarity with being broke allowed the lyrics to just pour out like a bottle of Coke. It was also easier to just have fun with it and not try to over-think the words. To cap it off I thought it would be cool to make the hook starkly different from the verses. This was meant to imply the impact and shock of checking your bank account and finding out you have no money left. I also wanted the hook to play only once because every time we hit the red we pray we’ll never do it again… don’t we?


Oh my bank account now why are you so mean?
Always turnin’ red every time I spend my green
Oh my bank account now overdrawn again
Hope my friends don’t see this screen at the ATM
Oh my bank account I swear that you were just fed
But now I can’t even feed myself cuz neither one of us have bread
Oh my bank account there must be a hole in you
Oh my bank account I’m stuck but comin’ unglued
Oh my bank account this story’s gettin’ old
If you only knew how much time it took with that pocket-change that I rolled
Oh my bank account settle down for two weeks
Then I’ll put in this paycheck and I can give you the same old speech
Oh my bank account you could use a couple more figures
Instead you go that other way and you’re the same color as my Twizzlers
Oh my bank account you’re gettin’ what I earn direct
Oh my bank account I look but I can’t check
Oh my bank account I thought I’d make you so fat
But I guess you’re the only thing in the world that went black then came back
Oh my bank account my shock is all long gone
When I sign on and check the funds I full expect that they’re gonna be…


Order Up: Blow My Top

Here’s track numero six from “Slow Nights. Fast Food.” I tend to spend about 90% of my time outside of work inside my apartment, either working on music or thinking about what music I want to make next. Needless to say, I go a little stir-crazy from time to time. This song is kind of my version of the Statler Brothers’ “Counting Flowers on the Wall.”

You can probably tell by my name that I’m not a social butterfly. If I see a large crowd of people I tend to stay as far back as I can and just blend in to the wall. I’ve always been very shy and reserved so my natural tendency is to keep to myself and just do my own thing. The truth is, I know how much I’m missing out on because of that, but I just can’t change it. On one hand, I’m happy I spend so much time alone, because I’ve been able to create a LOT of music that I’m very proud of and that is hopefully being listened to in Anytown, USA right now. On the other hand, I’ve always been curious as to what might be different for me if I went out and about every chance I got.

I don’t drink, smoke, or party. There are no crazy reasons for it, no religious restrictions or anything like that, I just never took to it and don’t see the appeal of it. This added to my reclusive nature back when I hit those late-teens/early-twenties when my friends had only one goal every weekend: getting wasted. So I’d disappear into some headphones more and more until my only focus became making music every chance I got. That’s been my routine to this day and I have no doubt it will payoff. I say in this song that I made a promise to myself to change once an album finally blows up. What I meant by that is that I want to enjoy life more than I currently do, but I don’t want to do it until all of this work is validated. I’ve passed up countless chances to go out and have fun, all because I thought I was working on the song or album that was going to takeoff and get me out of my tiny shoebox apartment for good. So I figured it’s worth it, because I’ll miss out now, but really have fun later. This is terrible logic. I know good and well that life is passing me by yet I still act like I’ve got all the time in the world to enjoy it.

Now usually I don’t think about it like this. I’m too focused on making jams and having my own fun in the studio. But every so often I get sick of seeing these same walls, in this cheap, tiny apartment, and having the same hopes about the album I’m currently working on get interrupted by the reality that my previous album didn’t change my life either. At that point it’s enough for me to blow a gasket and it usually leads to me cruising Texas A-V-E, lol. So for anyone that just goes flatout stir-crazy or gets cabin-fever for whatever your reason is, this song is for you. Hope you enjoy it.


It’s enough to blow my top, make it pop
It’s enough to blow my top, make it pop
When the walls are closing in, think I’m gonna pop
When the walls are closing in, think I’m gonna pop
It’s enough to blow my top, make it pop
It’s enough to blow my top, make it pop
When the walls are closing in, think I’m gonna pop
When the walls are closing in, think I’m gonna pop
It’s enough to blow my top

(Verse 1)
Goin’ kind of crazy in this single-bedroom box
Yeah I love to be at home, but I’m here an awful lot
And the blame is all on me, it’s the way my brain is wired
Tell myself to keep it solo like I don’t know I’m a liar
There’s only so much internet that I can take
And that televisions burning for as long as I’m awake
Made a promise that I’ll change once an album finally blows
Pretty sure I made that promise six or seven years ago
So now I’m just countin’ all these flowers on the wall
Not replyin’ to my texts and I’m screenin’ all my calls
Gettin’ Cabin Fever livin’ in the middle of a city
Tryin’ not to blow my top cuz that would not be endin’ pretty


(Verse 2)
Too smart to lose it, but if insane won’t know it
Let the music keep my top cool so I will not blow it
I’m just workin’ for the weekend but begin to sink down
Thinkin’ how much better it’d be with a gal around
Conversations with myself now, can’t get those answers
Lookin’ for some growth like a drought-havin’ rancher
If the problem had a switch I’d have flipped it long ago
But my name is from my nature of naturally stayin’ low
I’m bout to hear a *pop* when the walls are breakin’ loose
And now I hear ’em *pop* even while they’re slidin’ too
There’s gonna be a *pop* in a second when I’m crushed
Unless I go and *pop* up in public bein’ Hussshhhh


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