Here’s track numero six from “Slow Nights. Fast Food.” I tend to spend about 90% of my time outside of work inside my apartment, either working on music or thinking about what music I want to make next. Needless to say, I go a little stir-crazy from time to time. This song is kind of my version of the Statler Brothers’ “Counting Flowers on the Wall.”
You can probably tell by my name that I’m not a social butterfly. If I see a large crowd of people I tend to stay as far back as I can and just blend in to the wall. I’ve always been very shy and reserved so my natural tendency is to keep to myself and just do my own thing. The truth is, I know how much I’m missing out on because of that, but I just can’t change it. On one hand, I’m happy I spend so much time alone, because I’ve been able to create a LOT of music that I’m very proud of and that is hopefully being listened to in Anytown, USA right now. On the other hand, I’ve always been curious as to what might be different for me if I went out and about every chance I got.
I don’t drink, smoke, or party. There are no crazy reasons for it, no religious restrictions or anything like that, I just never took to it and don’t see the appeal of it. This added to my reclusive nature back when I hit those late-teens/early-twenties when my friends had only one goal every weekend: getting wasted. So I’d disappear into some headphones more and more until my only focus became making music every chance I got. That’s been my routine to this day and I have no doubt it will payoff. I say in this song that I made a promise to myself to change once an album finally blows up. What I meant by that is that I want to enjoy life more than I currently do, but I don’t want to do it until all of this work is validated. I’ve passed up countless chances to go out and have fun, all because I thought I was working on the song or album that was going to takeoff and get me out of my tiny shoebox apartment for good. So I figured it’s worth it, because I’ll miss out now, but really have fun later. This is terrible logic. I know good and well that life is passing me by yet I still act like I’ve got all the time in the world to enjoy it.
Now usually I don’t think about it like this. I’m too focused on making jams and having my own fun in the studio. But every so often I get sick of seeing these same walls, in this cheap, tiny apartment, and having the same hopes about the album I’m currently working on get interrupted by the reality that my previous album didn’t change my life either. At that point it’s enough for me to blow a gasket and it usually leads to me cruising Texas A-V-E, lol. So for anyone that just goes flatout stir-crazy or gets cabin-fever for whatever your reason is, this song is for you. Hope you enjoy it.
Lyrics:
(Chorus)
It’s enough to blow my top, make it pop
It’s enough to blow my top, make it pop
When the walls are closing in, think I’m gonna pop
When the walls are closing in, think I’m gonna pop
It’s enough to blow my top, make it pop
It’s enough to blow my top, make it pop
When the walls are closing in, think I’m gonna pop
When the walls are closing in, think I’m gonna pop
It’s enough to blow my top
(Verse 1)
Goin’ kind of crazy in this single-bedroom box
Yeah I love to be at home, but I’m here an awful lot
And the blame is all on me, it’s the way my brain is wired
Tell myself to keep it solo like I don’t know I’m a liar
There’s only so much internet that I can take
And that televisions burning for as long as I’m awake
Made a promise that I’ll change once an album finally blows
Pretty sure I made that promise six or seven years ago
So now I’m just countin’ all these flowers on the wall
Not replyin’ to my texts and I’m screenin’ all my calls
Gettin’ Cabin Fever livin’ in the middle of a city
Tryin’ not to blow my top cuz that would not be endin’ pretty
(Chorus)
(Verse 2)
Too smart to lose it, but if insane won’t know it
Let the music keep my top cool so I will not blow it
I’m just workin’ for the weekend but begin to sink down
Thinkin’ how much better it’d be with a gal around
Conversations with myself now, can’t get those answers
Lookin’ for some growth like a drought-havin’ rancher
If the problem had a switch I’d have flipped it long ago
But my name is from my nature of naturally stayin’ low
I’m bout to hear a *pop* when the walls are breakin’ loose
And now I hear ’em *pop* even while they’re slidin’ too
There’s gonna be a *pop* in a second when I’m crushed
Unless I go and *pop* up in public bein’ Hussshhhh
(Chorus)